One of my favorite writers is the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke. I’ve alluded to his Letters to a Young Poet here in my blog before. There is so much richness in those pages, especially to someone living a life in the arts.
Another of Rilke’s works is his Book Of Hours: Love Letters to God. The title itself evokes monastic life, or at least, a devoted life. Traditionally, a book of hours was an elaborately illuminated. The carefully calligraphed text would be accompanied by colorful illustrations of the characters, or decorative embellishments of symbols and flowers. Rilke’s Book of Hours is full of word-images using nature, art, and religion. There are ocean currents, storms, and the sap of trees; there are paintboxes and the Mona Lisa; there are vestments, cloisters, and Madonnas. Rilke also uses images of movements such as enfolding, unfolding, weaving, soaring. One of my favorite images is that of circling. For instance, he speaks of living his life in widening circles, and:
To me it is as if I were at once
infant, boy, man and more.
I feel that only as it circles
is abundance found.
It is appropriate that so many of the natural images used by Rilke are those that do not have a straightforward trajectory, but themselves are part of a cycle. The seasons, the tides, the patterns that make up days and nights. Though there is repetition, there is not a clear path or perfect order. There are webs, chasms, darkness, vapor, and mystery.
So often, life’s path is visualized as a journey forward. We’re okay with it looking maybe a little curvy, but less so when it goes sideways, back, or, worst of all, down. However, I think that the circle or the spiral is beautiful imagery for the rhythm and movements of life. I certainly feel and see the circular patterns in my own life. I move out, in, and back as much as I move forwards. To use one of my Southern-born father’s treasured phrases, I have been known to pass my elbow to get to my thumb. I just happen to think that the elbow might have a little something interesting to say.
I was recently working with a student going through a major technical challenge. We had started the process of working through the problem, but then found another tweak that seemed to be a necessary adjustment. To her, it felt like moving backwards, perhaps even starting over. She was not happy. Having been at similar junctures in my own life, I know that it was just an encircling of the issue at hand. It’s a way to discover more as she begins her spiral upwards.
Of course, even after “settling” certain issues, sometimes there are things we must revisit again and again. Since we will never be rid of some of these “themes” that keep popping up, we might as well find the poetry in it. One of my very thoughtful fellow musicians once said to me, “we have to start over every day, don’t we?”
How often (in music and in life!) have I gone in circles until a clear path out of my “rut” was revealed to me? Countless times. Only when I look back can I see that the time I spent in that rut was a time of gathering information and experience that would help me see my way clear when the time came. It was the start of a spiral.
I think also of ideas and ideals that I’ve rejected, going as far from them as I could, only to circle back around, perhaps years later, with new eyes. What was previously stale becomes relevant, vibrant, and so very rich. Only as we circle is abundance found.
