This morning I had an epiphany.\u00a0 I realized that, in more than one way, I was guilty of doing the very thing that I\u2019ve had on my mind to write about, namely, I\u2019ve been allowing my desire for perfection to keep me from action.\u00a0 So, rather than waiting for everything to be crystalized in my mind before I put fingers to keyboard, I\u2019m finally writing this post.<\/p>\n
One of the things I allowed myself to splurge on before Andreas was born was an especially beautiful baby book.\u00a0 I find most baby books out there to be too much somehow, but this one suits me.\u00a0 It has a blue toile cloth cover and elegant pages inside that are ring bound.\u00a0 One of the pages is dedicated to the baby\u2019s name – to write down how you chose the name, what significance it has, and what other names you considered.<\/p>\n
Over the past few months, I\u2019ve slowly been filling out all the pages of the book as much as I can to this point in Andreas\u2019 life.\u00a0 But the name page got me. I kept avoiding it because I just couldn\u2019t figure out a way to distill the meaning (in my mind) of his name down to just a couple sentences or descriptive words.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.angelashornstudio.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/DaVinciBody-286x300.jpg\" "\\"DaVinci\\"")
Why the complexity?\u00a0 It seems straight forward enough.\u00a0 Andreas is essentially Greek for \u201cmale human being\u201d as far as I\u2019ve been able to gather.\u00a0 Therefore, it also has the connotation of \u201cstrong\u201d and \u201cmanly.\u201d<\/p>\n
My hang-up is with \u201chuman being\u201d part.\u00a0 Many names have impossible-to-miss elevated meanings like \u201cMessenger of God\u201d or \u201cBeloved\u201d or \u201cAngelic\u201d (ahem, ahem) or \u201cGift from God.\u201d<\/p>\n
Most often, when \u201chuman\u201d is used in a sentence, it is modified by words like, \u201cjust\u201d, \u201conly,\u201d and \u201cmerely.\u201d\u00a0 The sentence usually is about flaws and limits.\u00a0 But I have come to prefer a meaning of being \u201chuman\u201d as something very different from this.\u00a0 I believe that to be truly and fully human is to be inspired to live a rich, vibrant, overflowing life.\u00a0 Not a flawless life, but a committed, expressive, and generous human<\/em> life.\u00a0 To me, that is the ultimate meaning of \u201chuman being.\u201d<\/p>\n One of the traits that many musicians share is that of perfectionism.\u00a0 We often have a taste for the perfect, the divine, the sublime (choose your superlative!) – so much so that we\u2019re willing to hone our skills for years in search of it.\u00a0 I think there is a time and place for striving for perfection, and our drive for experiencing the sublime certainly can fuel our endeavors.\u00a0 However, there comes a point when the goal of being perfect, to not make a mistake or wrong move, to be completely blameless at all times, becomes detrimental to our becoming \u201chuman\u201d\u00a0 – in my <\/em>definition of being human.<\/p>\n I was listening to one of Krista Tippet\u2019s recent radio broadcasts of her show On Being.\u00a0 In this episode<\/a> she interviewed the poet Christian Wiman who talked about how, as he was facing death, he didn\u2019t want poems that gave him the perfect, the divine, or the ineffable.\u00a0 Rather, he wanted to read poems that gave him more of life here on earth, that life that was slipping away.\u00a0 He wanted poems that made reality more real<\/em>.\u00a0 (I\u2019m paraphrasing…).<\/p>\n Onstage is a place where the goal of being perfect has the effect of binding us up rather than giving us the freedom we need to perform.\u00a0 I don\u2019t advocate being haphazard or reckless.\u00a0 I\u2019m only suggesting that instead of the aim being perfection<\/em>, one can aim for something less than (but perhaps better than!) perfection.\u00a0 Like excellence <\/em>or expression <\/em>or communication.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The desire to be perfect also can bind us up offstage as we make decisions in our lives.\u00a0 Who of us, at some point or another, has not faced a decision that makes us feel frozen from the fear of making the wrong choice?\u00a0 It is one thing to be thoughtful and thorough in taking our time to understand a situation from many perspectives before we act.\u00a0 It is quite another to not be able to continue with our lives because we are so scared of being wrong.\u00a0 There comes a time when, if we can abandon the \u201cshould\u2019s\u201d and strive to be fully human rather than divine, we can boldly place one foot in front of the other.\u00a0 We can commit with all our hearts knowing that the price to pay for being frozen and stuck is often much higher than the price to pay for not being perfect.<\/p>\n There.\u00a0 I said it – and quite imperfectly, I\u2019m sure – but I hope some of you will understand what it is I mean to say.\u00a0 Oh, and by the way, the name page in Andreas\u2019 baby book is now complete!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This morning I had an epiphany.\u00a0 I realized that, in more than one way, I was guilty of doing the very thing that I\u2019ve had on my mind to write about, namely, I\u2019ve been allowing my desire for perfection to … Continue reading